Ginger Riott: Sexiest Men Alive

Have you seen the article written by The Onion (http://www.theonion.com) naming Kim Jong Un as the Sexiest Man Alive? If you haven’t read it, there is a link to it at the bottom of the post. You’re welcome. China read the article and took it seriously, later recanting their statement saying they knew it was a prank. Riiiight.

This got me thinking, who would I put on my Sexiest Man Alive list? I’m suuuure you’re wondering who I think is sexy too, so here is my list.

I’m sorry Michael Jackson; I said “alive”...next time.

10: Donald Trump

Who cares about the money with a mug like that? Ivanka obviously chose the wrong one! Slut.

9: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Sure, you won’t see him sporting a yarmulke anytime soon, but that winning smile is something he never takes off!

8: Rush Limbaugh

Let me tell you, this man has a face for radio!

7: Marilyn Manson

Oh, that’s a man? Hmm.

6: Rowan Atkinson

Ditch the bear and cuddle with us, Mr. Bean!

5: Steve Buscemi

Steve played the role of a lifetime when he played crazy eyes in Mr. Deeds. You had me at...wait, which eye is looking at me?

4: CopperCab

This boy has soul(s)! This hunk made his debut on YouTube defending our people against South Park’s claim that we don’t have souls. Not only is he hannnndsome, he will also stand up to cartoon characters that push him to tears. You’re welcome ladies.

(P.S. Gingers do indeed have souls. We steal them from people so any Ginger that doesn’t have at least one soul is such a newb!)

3: Michael Berryman

Michael made his big break in Hollywood in The Hills Have Eyes. He often portrays mutant bikers, evil undertakers, monsters and other frightening characters. I bet he’s dashing in those roles. As do most hotties, he has his lucky genes to thank for those swanky good looks. Mikey has Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia (a rare condition leaving him with no sweat glands, hair, fingernails or teeth). Grrrrr! We likey Mikey!

2: Jocelyn Wildenstein

Oh, that’s a woman? Huh.

1: Albert Fish

If you like them tough, Albert is the one for you, although he prefers them tender. This man is a lady killer if I ever saw one. Eat your heart out ladies. Albert’s life was so exciting they made a movie about him! It’s called Silence of the Lambs. Sounds peaceful. I’m sure he is too.

Don’t these hotties just make you want to grab them and throw them in a pair of Fundies with you?