To be honest, I had more fun thinking of a name for this
post than writing it itself. It’s about
inmates who have pet cats. Do you know
how many jokes about pussies in lock-up I came up with as titles? Brian told me how unsuitable they all were,
so “Don’t Shank Princess” it is! State-ran
prisons across the country have been taking rescued stray cats, and are giving
them to inmates. The goal is for them to
rehabilitate each other. The prisoners
say they have to earn the cats trust before the cats will allow them to touch
them. Having pussies to chase after that
they are allowed to touch; I imagine that is a change of pace in a men’s
prison. How did they get cats
anyway? “Sorry dude, you could have
gotten a dog to train but we thought this was a better metaphor for your life.”
The inmates risk losing their kitties if they are caught doing
something against prison rules. No pussy
if you’re bad? That’s not a new
concept. What? Can you imagine the
conversations that must have come up in the yard? “Dude I would totally shank you, have my way
with you, and tattoo your mom’s face on my butt, but they would take away Snuggles.”
In Washington state, inmate Joey named his cat Princess
Natalie. Covered in scratches he said, "We don't know what she's in here
for. She won't tell us." I believe he may be in for drug use.
The Washington state program is called “Cuddly Catz”. The cats are allowed to have daily walks on a
leash. Think about those guys acting
like thugs later with pictures like these out in the world?
Photo from Seattletimes.com
Don’t fuck with me bra, I know some hard ass mother fuckers
still in the Cuddly Catz system!
Pussies in the pen? I
am a fan. And their cats are cool
too. Please don’t shank me for writing
this.
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