Brian had to go back to work
after the holidays before I did, cruelly leaving me alone with the
children. His first day back to work he
locked the door behind himself as he left.
Most people would assume it was to keep his family safe while he was
gone, but I know it was because he was making it more difficult for me to run
away.
Yesterday I opened the pantry to
start lunch for the girls, who turn into ankle biting zombies when they’re
hungry. But when I looked into the
pantry all I saw was chaos.
Since I was playing
stay-at-home-momma (read being kept captive like a prisoner in a Pygmy tribe) I
decided I’d clean it up. After the
heathens ate their mac ‘n cheese we drove to get organizing baskets.
10 baskets and two kids in a Mini
Cooper
I was so proud of my organized
pantry! I even labeled the canned goods
so I could see what was in the back.
Kaydance came in to investigate
and immediately informed me I did a terrible fucking job. She’s cute, but heartless.
So I did what any mother would do
(I’m of course referencing mothers in Mad Men).
I poured myself a stiff drink.
I call it the Bingy Gingy! It’s a mix of frozen raspberries, orange
juice and a bottle of champagne.
Then of course as soon as the
Pygmy Zombies saw Momma’s drink, they had to have one too. Looks like they’re going to bed early
tonight.
Kidding.
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