Ginger Riott: Come Enjoy the Dick Waters

I’m from a small town. People there know each other’s names, recognize each other’s vehicles, and spend time in the Dick Waters.

Well actually when I was growing up I was either swimming in a lake, a pond, or a backyard pool, but I have just recently learned a little more about the public swimming pool in the biggest town in our county. It’s called the Dick Waters’ Pool, named after the late teacher Mr. Richard Waters. I can’t make this up. I mean I could, but it would be really wrong because The Dick Waters is actually located at the elementary school.

The pool has been closed since 2009, due to reported budget constraints. The town must be ecstatic, because no one has gotten to play in Dick Waters for years! Talk about a drought! It’s estimated that the pool will cost the town nearly $60,000 to run it for the summer. As we all know, it costs a lot to get women to come out and play in the Dick Waters. So if you’re ever in Michigan, come out and play in the Dick Waters. But please, keep your lips closed. No one needs a mouth full of the Dick Waters.

If only it were shaped like this, it would be a legend. Well you know...if it were a little bigger.