Friday, May 31, 2013

Just a Ginger Looking for Some Love

I love the website  It’s a website that helps people get funded for starting businesses, artists, designers, and so much more.  Each company or person who is trying to get a “kick start” puts up a list of packages that you can buy.  When you buy one of the packages, you become a backer and get something really cool.  It could be a tee shirt or a prototype at a crazy low price. 

I thought I liked this website until I found this little gem.  Now I LOVE it.  A man named Scott P. Harris from the UK needed funding to make his documentary, Being Ginger.  It’s about a red haired man in his quest to find a woman who would love him, red hair and all.  Unfortunately I found it after the funding window was closed.  Otherwise I would have totally funded my fellow ging.  Check out this deleted scene from the movie. (Note:  Videos may not show up on mobile devices.)

I believe this woman single handedly started National Kick a Ginger Day and gave birth to South Park’s Cartman all before her morning coffee.

Check out Scott’s Facebook page and show him some love, or you know help him find a woman. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Your Kids Will be Fine

Since I live so far from my hometown, I keep in touch with what’s going on by being friends on Facebook with my hometown news station.  There was a story about a woman who was strangled and dumped in a lake.  It is very sad, and my condolences are with her friends and family for sure. 

But the thing that really got my attention was a post by a woman who had this to say, “Sooo sad soo young....this world is getting scarier and bitter and people who aren't scared of anything or anyone anymore... I have a 7 and 3 year old and it petrifies me to wonder what this world wil be like at my age....i do know one thing the lord needs to come back soon!!”

I have a couple thoughts on this.  One, I saw your Facebook picture, and if Jesus does come back soon, have him bring you a larger shirt because your girls are trying to escape like a couple of seals in a minnow net. 

And secondly, a drowning in a lake makes you scared for the future of your children?  Like I said before, I do feel for her family and friends, but come on.  Why do people read the news with such nostalgia?  I think people remember their childhoods as a simpler, more fun world in the same way we remember our childhood bedrooms.  Have you ever left your childhood bedroom for a few years, then came back to see it.  It’s magically smaller and less enchanted than it used to be.  Especially for those people whose parents went on to be on the show Hoarding: Buried Alive. 

A strangling and body dumping is something that should never happen, but it’s not like it’s something new that you should worry about the future of your children about.  Chicago has had an organized crime ring since 1879, respectfully.  The Black Dahlia killer, the KKK, the Unabomber, and ‘80s parachute pants are all tragedies that we have overcome. 

There will be more to come.  Boston and 9/11 happened.  A young woman was strangled and thrown in a lake.  It will keep happening.  I think it’s foolish to hide from it and throw your hands up in surrender.  Teach your children that bad things happen to good people, we just need to be the good people who stand up for those who need help, and to trust our instincts.   But just start with a walk.  Teach your children and yourself about the beauty and kindness just outside your front door. 

Let me recap.  Bad things have always happened, but it’s not always about you, so let it go.  When the bad news starts to get to you, turn it off and walk away.  Then go pray that Jesus brings you a bigger shirt!
Have some thoughts on this?  Leave a message below!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

You are What You Eat and I Eat Nuts

I have this message for the FDA today;
My mom told me that it's rude to give people the bird, but she never said anything about writing it out in walnuts!
This may be old news, but it was new news to me, so I thought maybe other people hadn’t heard about it either. 

On February 22, 2010 the FDA wrote a letter to Diamond Nuts telling them that they either needed to remove statements saying that walnuts are beneficial to health, or they would have to apply to classify their nuts as drugs. 

They also had this to say, “Your walnut products are also misbranded under section 403(r)(1)(B) of the Act [21 U.S.C. § 343(r)(1)(B)] because your firm's website also contains several additional unauthorized health claims. The following are examples of the claims made on your firm's website:

• "Studies have also shown that omega-3s may lower the risk of stroke ..."

• "[T]here's good evidence that omega-3s can increase HDL (good cholesterol), further reducing the risk of stroke and heart disease."

They also said this, “Further, your "Diamond of California Shelled Walnut" product is misbranded under section in that your product bears health claims that are not authorized by the FDA. The front and back of your product label bears the phrase "OMEGA 3 2.5 g per serving." Within the context of this label, the heart symbols adjacent to information about the amount of omega-3 in the product, constitute implied health claims about consumption of omega-3 and a reduced risk of coronary heart disease.” 

So there you have it, the dirty bastards at Diamond Nuts are trying to poison our minds with hearts.

I found a study done in 2002 on the FDA’s website showing another walnut run-in.  The walnut growers wanted to show that the Omega 3 found in walnuts was beneficial in reducing the risk of Coronary Heart Disease.  They worked with 16-49 people over 6 weeks, and found that all of them had lowered their LDL (bad cholesterol) levels.

There were other studies done on walnuts as well that included Adventist Health Study, the Nurses Health Study, the Iowa Women's Health Study, and the Physicians Health Study that all found walnuts to be beneficial in heart health.  The FDA also hired three separate scientists to conduct blind tests, which all found walnuts to be beneficial in lowering LDL. Despite this evidence, the FDA determined walnuts to have no signifigent evidence in being “heart healthy” because you would have to eat “a significant” amount of walnuts to get the benefits.  I wonder how many Lay’s potato chips it takes to get heart health benefits, because they have been approved by the FDA to label their foods heart healthy.

So then I went to Lay’s to get their point of view on heart health.  They had this FDA approved message, “The good news about all our chips is that we make them with “good fats”—polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats, which have heart health benefits because they can actually lower bad cholesterol as part of a balanced diet, so long as the total calories consumed do not increase.”

So in conclusion, according to the FDA walnuts are not heart healthy, but fried potato chips are. 

Despite the FDA refusing walnut growers to label their product heart healthy, they put this video out for consumers.  WARNING:  This video contains walnuts!

If they keep this going, people are going to start to think that the government is corrupt....

The letter from the FDA to Diamond Nuts can be found here for you to read for yourself.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Prettiest Girl in the School

Shylee came home the other day with her very first yearbook!  I was so excited that I flipped through the pages until I found her kindergarten class. Then I dragged my finger down the page to her name and looked at her photo. 

This is my kid's name, but this is not her face.

And this is my kid's face, but not her name.

WTF? Her very first yearbook and the only photo of her in it, and it's all screwed up.  I didn't want her to feel let down so I approached it gently.

Me - Shylee?  Have you seen this page yet?

Shylee - Yeah!  Isn't it great?!  I love my yearbook.

Me - Did you see that your name is on a different little girl's picture?

Shylee - Yes! (grinning from ear to ear)

Me - I'm really sorry.  I think it's too late to do anything about it.

Shylee - Are you kidding me?  Isabella is the prettiest girl in school.  Whenever people look at this, they're going to say 'Dang kid, you were gorgeous!'

Well that's one way to look at it I guess!

And in other news, my husband had a great time playing with his toys. I prefer he doesn't start his stories with, "So did I tell you where my wheel almost came off?"

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Shanked in the Shower

Last night I was shanked in the shower. Sure, I did it to myself but it still feeds on my biggest fear...going to jail. Gingers barely make it off of the playground unscathed as kids, much less "the yard" as adults.

So I was in the shower shaving my arm pits when my razor broke. Like the whole head snapped off and all was left was a sharp point which I unintentionally used to stab myself with, in the armpit.  Have you ever been shanked in the armpit? It sucks.

I got out of the shower and dried my feet off, which was pointless because the rest of me was still wet so I left a water trail to the medicine cabinet. I didn't have another razor in there so I walked over to the cupboard and looked in there. Nothing. Seriously, who shops for this house? They should be fired.

While I was standing there, recreating Lake Michigan at my feet, I decided to just borrow Brian's razor and jump back in the shower.  After grabbing his razor, I promptly spun around towards the shower and slipped on the floor. It wasn't a full shit eating kind of fall but it left a mark and it was awkward.

That's when Brian walked in. I decided not to explain to him why I was naked, in a puddle of water on the bathroom floor holding his razor.   He didn't ask either.

I got back in the shower to find that I was all out of shave cream.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

A Few Notes

My really good friend, Jon, shared a video with me tonight and suggested that I share it on here it is!

Note: This would be funny if it wasn't so accurately true.

Notable Note: Jon is pretty much my BFF minus the matching BFF bracelets.

Notarized Note: Jon is single, ladies! PM me if you're interested.

Notorious Note: Jon is not amused right now.

Next Note: The guy on the right is mine, so eyes off, you sluts!

Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh Note: Redheads are the fucking unicorns of the human world.

Oh yeah, so on to the video!

I'm still watching you, you sluts. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Being Held Hostage

I have been really busy lately, to the point where I’m pretty sure my friends and family were printing LOST posters because it had been awhile since they had heard from me.  I have been held hostage in my home, against my will by a toddler.  I have been doing P90X this week while Kaydance takes her afternoon naps.  I tried on my swimsuit from last year and I have been scared into working out for at least an hour a day ever since. 
Anyway, yesterday Kaydance woke up early from her nap while I was still working out, so I went in and got her out of her bed.  I figured she could sit in a recliner while I finished up Ab Ripper X.  I was on the floor doing crunchy frogs (probably more fun as a dish than as an exercise) when Kaydance jumped down from the recliner, walked over, threw my glass of cold water in my face and walked away.  My captor can be a jerk. 
I grabbed my towel and wiped off my face and heard a gush of water coming from the bathroom.  I must have left the bathroom door open because she had grabbed a step stool, climbed in the tub, turned the water on and sat in the tub with her clothes on waiting for the tub to fill up.  Apparently she thought we both needed a bath. 
So fear not, friends and family.  I am not lost, just very clean and being tormented daily.   
In other news, Ginger Riott has just passed 8000 page views!  I have an idea when we get to 10,000 page views that I will share soon.  10,000 page views!!! That blows my mind.  Thank you to everyone who keeps reading my posts and liking the Facebook page.  You mean the world to me.