Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The United States v. Windsor

Warning:  Today I am giving my opinion on Prop 8 and gay marriage.  If you are for gay marriage, keep reading.  If you are against gay marriage, keep reading.  There is no hate here.  This is how I feel.  I honor your feelings and opinions even if they aren’t the same as mine.  I have friends and family who are on both sides of the fence on this issue, and I love and care for them all the same.  It’s not my business to think for them. 
Today has been gay.  And by gay I mean happy, and by happy I mean the gay community is about to throw a party that only they can.  The Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA); which stated that if you have matching body parts you can’t possibly be a real family.  Just hours after the decision was made, I was asked to “unlike” a friend’s Facebook page because anyone who tolerates others obviously isn’t a friend of theirs.   (AKA they believe that a marriage is only valid between a man and a woman, and don’t want to associate themselves who disagree.  Of all of the reasons to distance yourself from a redhead, I always assumed it would have been for personal safety.
Anyway, if you are unfamiliar with the case, here is the quick and dirty.  The very beautiful Edie Windsor challenged the Supreme Court when she was expected to pay taxes on the property she shared with her late wife Thea Spyer, to whom she had legally married.  After more than 40 years together, the United States asked for upwards of $363,000 in federal estate taxes.  Had the couple been seen as a legal pair, they would have been protected under the unlimited spousal deduction and wouldn’t have been required to pay federal estate taxes. 
Photo by Andy Ryan and
I believe that everyone has the right to the pursuit of happiness, and this includes marrying whomever you choose.  I also believe that I don’t have the right to pass judgment on anyone else.  I mean I DO, but usually it’s restricted to the people of Wal-Mart, people who take food stamps out of their Gucci, and people who don’t have red hair.  But beyond that, I can’t tell anyone who to love.  
I was excited about the court’s ruling so I told my five year old daughter, Shylee.
Me:  Guess what!  Gay Americans had a great day in court today!
Shylee:  What does that mean?
Me:  Well, men can be married to men and women can be married to women.
Shylee:  Yeah and kids can be married to adults!
Me:  No... no that is still very illegal.  Let’s not talk about that.
In other news, if you type “homosexuality” into Google, the search bar turns fabulous!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

10,000 Page View Challenge!

Today I’m excited to announce the 10,000 Page View Challenge! 
First let’s talk about the prizes!  The first place winner will receive by email a $50 gift card and public announcement!  Second place winner will receive by email a $20 gift card by email and public announcement, and the third place winner gets to pick my next blog topic.  It can be ANYTHING.  Think there is something hilarious or just really awkward out there?  Now is your chance to make me do your dirty work and write a blog post about it! 
So what do you have to do to get these sweet prizes?  Shoot a ginger!  That’s right, find your favorite ginger (besides me) and take a picture of them doing something awesome, funny, awkward, or whatever will bring a smile to the other Riotter’s faces!  Think outside the box and have a great time interacting with the coolest people on the planet! ;-)
Now let’s talk about the rules.

Rule 1:  Never talk about Fight Club.

Rule 2:  If you are my parent or my spouse, you are not eligible for the prizes, but feel free to send in pictures anyway!

Rule 3: There’s no limit to the number of great ginger photos you can send in!  Send in one, or send in 20.  I’ll check them all out and share them with everyone.

Rule 4:  This is my blog, so if you send me something retarded, I reserve the right to pretend like I never got your email.  But remember, if you take a photo your mom wouldn’t be proud of, send it in anyway, because I’m not your momma!

The 10,000 Page View Challenge begins as soon as you read this, and will end August 1st, when I will announce who won some cash and bragging rights. 

Don’t kick a ginger, get out there and shoot them (with a camera and with their permission)!

Please send in all entries to  Yay!!!


Sunday, June 23, 2013

Growing and Changing

I feel like I have done so much growing in the last couple of years.  If you would have asked me three years ago what today would look like, I would have never guessed that it would look like it does now.  My Air Force career ended with a medical discharge, we were blessed with a baby that we were not trying for (not even a little bit), and my husband decided to hang up his Air Force boots for farmer's boots.  And of course, the My Ginger Riott blog is here. 
So we are closing this chapter of our lives and opening the next.  Next to me are boxes of stuffed animals and bags of clothes that need to be taken to the thrift store as we down-size in preparation for the movers to come next month. 
It’s exciting and with all of these changes I really feel like I am on the path I was supposed to be on.  That hasn’t exactly been the case in the past.  I feel like I was always wondering what my purpose was and had that feeling of, “Is this all there is for me?”  Now I am excited and can’t wait to see what’s next!
So what is next?  This blog is changing!  We are about to embark on 10,000 page views.  That is incredible!  Honestly when I started it, I assumed my mom would be the only one to read it.  And with the first 10,000 page views comes the first Ginger Challenge.  I will give the details when we actually hit that number, but here’s a includes a nice cash prize!
I got an email from a company saying that they have seen my blog, and are mailing me one of their products to review.  I also have some ideas for a vlog channel and maybe even a book one day, so stay tuned for all those happenings to be happening. 
What are you guys thinking?  Send me an email, or comment below on any questions you may have, or what you would like to see as My Ginger Riott evolves.  And thank you once again for all of the support!!!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Nostalgic for the Dog Butt

Here in southern Germany, the weather went from “where the hell is summer” to “I hope you bought your deodorant by the case because you’ll need it” in the matter of days.  I know, it gets hot just about everywhere, but most Europeans don’t believe in air conditioning (or deodorant) so it’s sticky hot all summer.

I could write a long list of all the things that suck about living in hot weather, or I could write about the things that the heat has made a little bit better.

1.        My freckles have literally melted off.  So now I look like a day walker, walking around with all of these other day walkers, I feel like a double agent.

2.       After my cold shower today, I opened the dryer to get clothes out and they were still wet.  Didn’t give a shit.  They feel better this way anyway. 

3.       I always know where my kids are because we only have four ceiling fans in the house, so they are most likely laying under one of them.

4.       I haven’t had to put make-up on in a week, because it let’s be honest, if I put it on it would just slide off faster than Kardashian underwear.

Yep that’s it.  Those are the only good things that have come out of this death heat. 

Being out in the heat today I could only think about one thing... Gateway Park.

When I was a little kid growing up in Tawas, Michigan, my mom took me to Gateway Park, and that’s where my mind was most of the day.  I miss the feeling of the mist coming off of Lake Huron. And if that wasn’t cooling enough you could always wade into the lake to cool down.  It was amazing. 

But the coolest thing about Gateway Park as a kid was the playground equipment that was somehow surgically attached to freakishly large animals. 

Hmm, I don’t remember having to climb into the butt of a dog. 
This explains so much about my childhood.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Toddlers Are Like Parrots

Toddlers are like parrots.  You see a picture of them and think, ‘Ahh, they’re so beautiful!  I want to bring one in my house and keep it as a pet.’  That’s how they get you.  Then you get them into your once serene and clean house and they fuck that all up. 

There is shit tore up all over the place, they bite your guests (and you pretend like you are so surprised and act like they have never done that sort of thing before), the squawk from the time they see the sun in the morning until you put the towel over their cage and the end of the night.  They spill their food all over the floor.  They hear you cuss (while you’re picking up all of the shit they just threw around your floor) and they follow you around repeating the bad words. 

You can convince yourself that they are domesticated, but really you know they would be happier living out in the wild where all the other wild, loud, scary things are.  So please, if you are considering bringing a toddler or a parrot into your house, do yourself a favor and leave them at the zoo. 


Monday, June 10, 2013

Dinosaurs Are Taking Over My Life

I have come to the conclusion that dinosaurs have taken over my life. 

Reason 1:  About a week and a half ago, I started on the Primal/Paleo/Caveman diet.  Look it up, if you haven’t heard about it.  I have cut out all of the junk from my diet and have lost about 7lbs and a pant size already.  So technically cavemen weren’t around during the time of the dinosaur, but they were in the cartoons that I watched when I was a kid, so it totally counts.

Reason 2:  My daughter, Shylee, has become obsessed with the movie Jurassic Park.  We have watched it about seven times in the last couple of weeks.  I even have dreams about dinosaurs.  While watching Jurassic Park during the first couple of days of starting my nearly no carb diet, I realized I would fuck up a dinosaur to get to some ice cream.  I mean not a velociraptor, because they are like the strung out Lindsay Lohan's of the dinosaur world, but I would take out a pterodactyl for sure.  Also I want a triceratops to ride around the neighborhood.  I would be like, “This is neighborhood watch 10,000 motherfucka.”  That’s the diet talking. It makes me a potty mouth.

Reason 3:  My best friend, Colleen, recently went on vacation to Florida and has been drinking out of a Jurassic Park coffee cup.  I hadn’t told her that I had been watching it every single brain draining minute of my life for two weeks, but she just happened to be drinking out of it at the same time.  The most shocking part...she didn’t even invite me to Florida.  Email me if you’re interested in filling my BFF opening.
Reason 4:  I thought I heard a dinosaur outside my window.  It happened to be a momma fox looking for her baby, but it’s a totally understandable mistake.  Have you ever heard a panicked fox?  I was woken up at one o’clock in the morning to the freakiest sound.  At first I thought one of my kids was choking in their beds, so I flew out of bed.  By the time I got to my door I realized the sound was actually coming from out the bathroom window, so I went to the window to open it.  The sound was so freaky.  I thought, ‘What the hell is that?  Is someone strangling a turkey?  That’s ridiculous.  It must be a dinosaur strangling a turkey.  That makes more sense.’  Then to my surprise it was just a cute little fox.  If you have never heard a fox check out this video, or go to the link below if you are on a mobile device.  At the end of the video is the alarm bark, which is what I heard.  Tell me that doesn’t sound like a dinosaur strangling a turkey! 
 Did someone make this sign for me?

Friday, June 7, 2013

We're in Business

I have been writing My Ginger Riott for about 9 months now, and have had over 9,000 page views, so I thought I would add some new stuff!  I now have links to some great things that you really don't need, but should really get anyway. 

Check out the links on the right side of the page for the newest Ginger Riott endorsed merchandise! 

Every time you click on a link to Amazon then buy something, I get a commission.  Fucking amazing!  That includes clicking on the header which takes you to the main Amazon store.  If you see something awesome out there that you think would be good to list for sale on My Ginger Riott, send me an email, Facebook me, or leave a comment below. 

A Ginger Pride poster would be a great place to start!  Also if you haven't subscribed by email, be sure to do that so that you don't miss any posts! 

Thank you for all of the support!  You get part of your soul back as my thanks!

Come Enjoy the Dick Waters

I’m from a small town.  People there know each other’s names, recognize each other’s vehicles, and spend time in the Dick Waters.

Well actually when I was growing up I was either swimming in a lake, a pond, or a backyard pool, but I have just recently learned a little more about the public swimming pool in the biggest town in our county.  It’s called the Dick Waters’ Pool, named after the late teacher Mr. Richard Waters.  I can’t make this up.  I mean I could, but it would be really wrong because The Dick Waters is actually located at the elementary school. 

The pool has been closed since 2009, due to reported budget constraints.  The town must be ecstatic, because no one has gotten to play in Dick Waters for years!  Talk about a drought!  It’s estimated that the pool will cost the town nearly $60,000 to run it for the summer.  As we all know,  it costs a lot to get women to come out and play in the Dick Waters.  So if you’re ever in Michigan, come out and play in the Dick Waters.  But please, keep your lips closed.  No one needs a mouth full of the Dick Waters. 

If only it were shaped like this, it would be a legend.  Well you know...if it were a little bigger. 


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Our Founding Fathers

I have been posting a lot about gingers lately. You could say I have ginger on the brain, but I had to share this ginger-tastic factoid with you!
I’m about to blow your ginger-lovin’ mind. There is so much disagreement pertaining to our current president and how he is doing. There is also much debate about the direction that the country is headed. One thing that can’t be debated is that America is one feisty mother.
You may know that America was founded by determined men who had a vision of a better life for themselves and countrymen, but what you may not know is that two of our founding fathers, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, were extra feisty. That’s because they were red heads!  Covered up by wigs and white hair powder (used to control grease and odor), these two men were full-fledged gingers!
Thomas Jefferson
Source: Time Magazine
George Washington
So next time you hate on a ginger, you’re hating on our founding fathers. Your mother would be so disappointed!

Note:  Andrew Jackson, Ulysses S. Grant, Dwight Eisenhower, Calvin Coolidge, and Martin Van Buren were also red heads.


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

9000 Pageviews!

Thank you to everyone who continues to read My Ginger Riott!!!! Tell your friends!  Let's get to 10,000 pageviews soon!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Gingers in the '90s

My bestie Colleen sent me a link to buzzfeed showing why Gingers were cooler in the '90s and how they paved the way for gingers of you can see above.  So that got me thinking...I was a ginger in the '90s!  So I want to share some ginger awesomeness with you, from the '90s!

Here I am with my ginger dog...

My ginger horses...

And of course, my ginger cow. 

I also had a ginger mother, and a Reba collection (not pictured).