This week we proved to ourselves that moving back to a small
town was the right decision.It was
homecoming, so we got together with our family…to watch our local high school team lose.
Okay so the game may not have gone too well, but Brian’s
uncle gave all of the kids a tractor pulled hay ride and we ended the night around
a wood fire with the people we love the most…or at least the ones who have the
most dirt on us.
Small towns also mean big trucks, and big homecoming
floats.
Saturday we all went out to the campground for pumpkin carving
and trick or treating.Brian and his cute
parrot won the costume contest...
...and my mother in law won the pumpkin carving
contest…because she’s bad ass like that.
In other news, my daughter Shylee came home with a new song she learned
in drama.She said it goes, “All day
long we rape rape rape all through fall.”
Um what?
I had her repeat herself a half dozen times until finally I
think I got it.
Me – “Do you mean rake?All day long we rake, rake, rake, all through the fall?”
Shylee – “Yeah, that’s it.Same thing.”
For the record, it is not the same thing, and I would like
her drama coach to please enunciate a little better, or at least think of songs
that’s rhyming words don’t have anything to do with long jail sentences.
Where did the time go? Better question, where did the blogger go? It has been way too long since I have posted anything. Since I was here last, I moved to the other side of the world, back onto good ol' US soil, bought a new house, said goodbye to all ties to the military, and have eaten an embarrassing amount of cookies...actually that's nothing new, I just really like cookies.
It was months ago that I talked to Bethany from BethanyFAE on YouTube about sharing her on MyGingerRiott. She agreed, then I promptly fell off the face of the Earth. Rude, I know! Moving with two little kids all the way from Germany, then getting set up here was more than I was prepared for. But the worst part is you could have been enjoying Bethany this whole time! So before any more time passes, welcome back to my blog, share it with your friends, then go check out Bethany!
BethanyFAE may be my favorite ginger ever...sorry Mom! Bethany has a YouTube channel where she talks about everything from video games to great makeup advice while simultaneously letting her funny nerdiness come through. It's simply awesome.
While her videos may be geared towards women, men will love to watch her too. She is seriously gorgeous...like I want to wake up and look just like her! Okay not EXACTLY like her, because that may freak my kids out, but they'd get used to it eventually.
Despite her looking like she was plucked right out of Hollywood, she talks to her audience like she is your best friend. She is down to earth and funny, and instantly makes you like her. Check her out, give her a thumbs up, subscribe and share the ginger love!!!
After spending a month getting everything ready for the move, having a sick kid, and only have three people send in picture submissions for the challenge, it has been cancelled. It's sad, but it's kind of a relief at the same time since there is so much going on right now.
One of the pictures was from my mom of her favorite redhead (who is a cartoon and isn't her daughter).
One of them was from my friend John. He sent me a picture of...myself. He really just sent me a picture so that he could choose the topic of a future blog post. Prepare yourself for that in the future.
And the following pictures are from Breanna, who would have won if there would have been a hundred people in the challenge. (Breanna, I will send you your gift!) Check out these sweet ginger bombed pictures!
Photo has been professionally ginger-bombed.
Proving that American redheaded men have been un-photogenic since 1776.
I was told that the Mountain Dew had been ginger contaminated. :-( Ginger-vitis.
If you have any funny redhead photos, be sure to send them my way! Leave a comment below, and go hug a ginger. Just kidding, that's not safe.
I've been gone for WAY too long. The Dixie Chick's song Long Time Gone has been popping up in my head every time I think about how it's been SO LONG since I have posted on Ginger Riott. It makes me sad. One that I haven't written in so long, and two that I have a Dixie Chick song stuck in my head.
We've been really busy around here. The movers came and packed up nearly everything we own, and in six days we're leaving for Michigan! I haven't lived in Michigan in eight years so it's going to be a big change. I'm not sure I'm ready for the drama that comes with a small town and living just minutes from my husband's entire family. Last time I lived there I was 18, and drama was when the guy I liked posted on MySpace that gingers are nymphos and my mom making us salads on pizza night.
There are a lot of things I am looking forward to. One is not carrying groceries and kids up four flights of stairs everyday. (The housing office rejected my requests to install a pulley system or escalator off my balcony.) I'm also slightly obsessed with planning out how our next home is going to look. I love to plan it out, but then there's all this painting and sanding and other crap that gets in my way of napping.
I haven't lived in Michigan since 2005 which means I left the country with a Republican president in office, Oprah on TV everyday at four o'clock and being able to fill my gas tank on $20. I'm slowly turning myself into a walking meme of the "good old days".
But for today, and the next five days, the girls and I are going to live it up in style and watching Brave, because it's the best Disney movie made, next to The Little Mermaid and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
I can't put my finger on what it is about these movies I like. ;-)
Warning:Today I am
giving my opinion on Prop 8 and gay marriage.If you are for gay marriage, keep reading.If you are against gay marriage, keep
reading.There is no hate here.This is how I feel.I honor your feelings and opinions even if
they aren’t the same as mine.I have
friends and family who are on both sides of the fence on this issue, and I love
and care for them all the same.It’s not
my business to think for them.
Today has been gay.And by gay I mean happy, and by happy I mean the gay community is about
to throw a party that only they can.The
Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA); which stated that
if you have matching body parts you can’t possibly be a real family.Just hours after the decision was made, I was
asked to “unlike” a friend’s Facebook page because anyone who tolerates others
obviously isn’t a friend of theirs.(AKA they believe that a marriage is only
valid between a man and a woman, and don’t want to associate themselves who
disagree.Of all of the reasons to
distance yourself from a redhead, I always assumed it would have been for personal
safety.
Anyway, if you are unfamiliar with the case, here is the
quick and dirty.The very beautiful Edie
Windsor challenged the Supreme Court when she was expected to pay taxes on the
property she shared with her late wife Thea Spyer, to whom she had legally
married.After more than 40 years
together, the United States asked for upwards of $363,000 in federal estate
taxes.Had the couple been seen as a
legal pair, they would have been protected under the unlimited spousal
deduction and wouldn’t have been required to pay federal estate taxes.
Photo by Andy Ryan and Out.com
I believe that everyone has the right to the pursuit of
happiness, and this includes marrying whomever you choose.I also believe that I don’t have the right to
pass judgment on anyone else.I mean I
DO, but usually it’s restricted to the people of Wal-Mart, people who take food
stamps out of their Gucci, and people who don’t have red hair.But beyond that, I can’t tell anyone who to
love.
I was excited about the court’s ruling so I told my five
year old daughter, Shylee.
Me:Guess what!Gay Americans had a great day in court today!
Shylee:What does
that mean?
Me:Well, men can be
married to men and women can be married to women.
Shylee:Yeah and kids
can be married to adults!
Me:No... no that is
still very illegal.Let’s not talk about
that.
In other news, if you type “homosexuality” into Google, the
search bar turns fabulous!
Today I’m excited
to announce the 10,000 Page View Challenge!
First let’s talk about the prizes!The first place winner will receive by email
a $50 gift card and public announcement!Second place winner will receive by email a $20 gift card by email and
public announcement, and the third place winner gets to pick my next blog
topic.It can be ANYTHING.Think there is something hilarious or just
really awkward out there?Now is your
chance to make me do your dirty work and write a blog post about it!
So what do you have to do to get these sweet prizes?Shoot a ginger!That’s right, find your favorite ginger (besides
me) and take a picture of them doing something awesome, funny, awkward, or
whatever will bring a smile to the other Riotter’s faces!Think outside the box and have a great time
interacting with the coolest people on the planet! ;-)
Now let’s talk
about the rules.
Rule 1:Never talk about Fight Club.
Rule 2:If you are my parent or my spouse, you are
not eligible for the prizes, but feel free to send in pictures anyway!
Rule 3: There’s
no limit to the number of great ginger photos you can send in!Send in one, or send in 20.I’ll check them all out and share them with
everyone.
Rule 4:This is my blog, so if you send me something
retarded, I reserve the right to pretend like I never got your email.But remember, if you take a photo your mom
wouldn’t be proud of, send it in anyway, because I’m not your momma!
The 10,000 Page
View Challenge begins as soon as you read this, and will end August 1st,
when I will announce who won some cash and bragging rights.
Don’t kick a
ginger, get out there and shoot them (with a camera and with their permission)!
I feel like I have done so much growing in the last couple
of years.If you would have asked me
three years ago what today would look like, I would have never guessed that it
would look like it does now. My Air
Force career ended with a medical discharge, we were blessed with a baby that
we were not trying for (not even a little bit), and my husband decided to hang
up his Air Force boots for farmer's boots.And of course, the My Ginger Riott blog is here.
So we are closing
this chapter of our lives and opening the next.Next to me are boxes of stuffed animals and bags of clothes that need to
be taken to the thrift store as we down-size in preparation for the movers to
come next month.
It’s exciting and with all of these changes I really feel
like I am on the path I was supposed to be on.That hasn’t exactly been the case in the past.I feel like I was always wondering what my
purpose was and had that feeling of, “Is this all there is for me?”Now I am excited and can’t wait to see what’s
next!
So what is next?This
blog is changing!We are about to embark
on 10,000 page views.That is
incredible!Honestly when I started it,
I assumed my mom would be the only one to read it.And with the first 10,000 page views comes
the first Ginger Challenge.I will give
the details when we actually hit that number, but here’s a hint...it includes a
nice cash prize!
I got an email from a company saying that they have seen my
blog, and are mailing me one of their products to review.I also have some ideas for a vlog channel and
maybe even a book one day, so stay tuned for all those happenings to be
happening.
What are you guys thinking?Send me an email, or comment below on any questions you may have, or what
you would like to see as My Ginger Riott evolves. And thank you once again for all of the support!!!
Here in southern Germany, the weather went from “where the
hell is summer” to “I hope you bought your deodorant by the case because you’ll
need it” in the matter of days.I know,
it gets hot just about everywhere, but most Europeans don’t believe in air
conditioning (or deodorant) so it’s sticky hot all summer.
I could write a long list of all the things that suck about
living in hot weather, or I could write about the things
that the heat has made a little bit better.
1.My
freckles have literally melted off.So
now I look like a day walker, walking around with all of these other day
walkers,I feel like a double agent.
2.After my cold shower today, I opened the dryer
to get clothes out and they were still wet.Didn’t give a shit.They feel
better this way anyway.
3.I always know where my kids are because we only
have four ceiling fans in the house, so they are most likely laying under one
of them.
4.I haven’t had to put make-up on in a week,
because it let’s be honest, if I put it
on it would just slide off faster than Kardashian underwear.
Yep that’s it.Those
are the only good things that have come out of this death heat.
Being out in the heat today I could only think about one
thing... Gateway Park.
When I was a little kid growing up in Tawas, Michigan, my mom
took me to Gateway Park, and that’s where my mind was most of the day.I miss the feeling of the mist coming off of
Lake Huron. And if that wasn’t cooling enough you could always wade into the
lake to cool down. It was amazing.
But the coolest thing about Gateway Park as a kid was the
playground equipment that was somehow surgically attached to freakishly large
animals.
Hmm, I don’t remember having to climb into the butt of a
dog.
Toddlers are like parrots. You see a picture of them and think, ‘Ahh,
they’re so beautiful!I want to bring
one in my house and keep it as a pet.’That’s how they get you.Then you
get them into your once serene and clean house and they fuck that all up.
There is shit tore up all over the place, they bite your
guests (and you pretend like you are so surprised and act like they have never
done that sort of thing before), the squawk from the time they see the sun in
the morning until you put the towel over their cage and the end of the
night.They spill their food all over
the floor.They hear you cuss (while you’re
picking up all of the shit they just threw around your floor) and they follow
you around repeating the bad words.
You can convince yourself that they are domesticated, but
really you know they would be happier living out in the wild where all the
other wild, loud, scary things are.So
please, if you are considering bringing a toddler or a parrot into your house,
do yourself a favor and leave them at the zoo.
I have come to the conclusion that dinosaurs have taken over
my life.
Reason 1:About a
week and a half ago, I started on the Primal/Paleo/Caveman diet.Look it up, if you haven’t heard about
it.I have cut out all of the junk from
my diet and have lost about 7lbs and a pant size already.So technically cavemen weren’t around during
the time of the dinosaur, but they were in the cartoons that I watched when I
was a kid, so it totally counts.
Reason 2:My
daughter, Shylee, has become obsessed with the movie Jurassic Park.We have watched it about seven times in the
last couple of weeks.I even have dreams
about dinosaurs.While watching Jurassic
Park during the first couple of days of starting my nearly no carb diet, I
realized I would fuck up a dinosaur to get to some ice cream.I mean not a velociraptor, because they are
like the strung out Lindsay Lohan's of the dinosaur world, but I would take out
a pterodactyl for sure.Also I want a triceratops
to ride around the neighborhood.I would
be like, “This is neighborhood watch 10,000 motherfucka.”That’s the diet talking. It makes me a potty
mouth.
Reason 3:My best
friend, Colleen, recently went on vacation to Florida and has been drinking out
of a Jurassic Park coffee cup.I hadn’t
told her that I had been watching it every single brain draining minute of my
life for two weeks, but she just happened to be drinking out of it at the same
time.The most shocking part...she didn’t
even invite me to Florida.Email me if
you’re interested in filling my BFF opening.
Reason 4:I thought I
heard a dinosaur outside my window.It
happened to be a momma fox looking for her baby, but it’s a totally
understandable mistake.Have you ever
heard a panicked fox?I was woken up at
one o’clock in the morning to the freakiest sound.At first I thought one of my kids was choking
in their beds, so I flew out of bed.By
the time I got to my door I realized the sound was actually coming from out the
bathroom window, so I went to the window to open it.The sound was so freaky.I thought, ‘What the hell is that?Is someone strangling a turkey?That’s ridiculous.It must be a dinosaur strangling a
turkey.That makes more sense.’Then to my surprise it was just a cute little
fox.If you have never heard a fox check
out this video, or go to the link below if you are on a mobile device.At the end of the video is the alarm bark,
which is what I heard.Tell me that
doesn’t sound like a dinosaur strangling a turkey!
I have been writing My Ginger Riott for about 9 months now, and have had over 9,000 page views, so I thought I would add some new stuff! I now have links to some great things that you really don't need, but should really get anyway.
Check out the links on the right side of the page for the newest Ginger Riott endorsed merchandise!
Every time you click on a link to Amazon then buy something, I get a commission. Fucking amazing! That includes clicking on the header which takes you to the main Amazon store. If you see something awesome out there that you think would be good to list for sale on My Ginger Riott, send me an email, Facebook me, or leave a comment below.
A Ginger Pride poster would be a great place to start! Also if you haven't subscribed by email, be sure to do that so that you don't miss any posts!
Thank you for all of the support! You get part of your soul back as my thanks!
I’m from a small town.People there know each other’s names, recognize each other’s vehicles, and
spend time in the Dick Waters.
Well actually when I was growing up I was either swimming in
a lake, a pond, or a backyard pool, but I have just recently learned a little
more about the public swimming pool in the biggest town in our county.It’s called the Dick Waters’ Pool, named after the late teacher Mr. Richard Waters.I can’t make this up.I mean I could, but it would be really wrong
because The Dick Waters is actually located at the elementary school.
The pool has been closed since 2009, due to reported budget
constraints.The town must be ecstatic,
because no one has gotten to play in Dick Waters for years!Talk about a drought!It’s estimated that the pool will cost the
town nearly $60,000 to run it for the summer.As we all know, it costs a lot to
get women to come out and play in the Dick Waters.So if you’re ever in Michigan, come out and
play in the Dick Waters.But please,
keep your lips closed.No one needs a
mouth full of the Dick Waters.
If only it were shaped like this, it would be a legend.Well you know...if it were a little
bigger.
I have been posting a lot
about gingers lately. You could say I have ginger on the brain, but I had to
share this ginger-tastic factoid with you!
I’m
about to blow your ginger-lovin’ mind. There is so much disagreement
pertaining to our current president and how he is doing. There is also much
debate about the direction that the country is headed. One thing that can’t be
debated is that America is one feisty mother.
You may know that America was
founded by determined men who had a vision of a better life for themselves and
countrymen, but what you may not know is that two of our founding fathers,
George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, were extra feisty. That’s because they
were red heads! Covered
up by wigs and white hair powder (used to control grease and odor), these two
men were full-fledged gingers!
Thomas Jefferson
Source: Time Magazine
George Washington
Source: redhairfacts.com
So
next time you hate on a ginger, you’re hating on our founding fathers. Your
mother would be so disappointed!
Note:
Andrew Jackson, Ulysses
S. Grant, Dwight Eisenhower, Calvin Coolidge, and Martin Van Buren were also
red heads.
My bestie Colleen sent me a link to buzzfeed showing why Gingers were cooler in the '90s and how they paved the way for gingers of today...as you can see above. So that got me thinking...I was a ginger in the '90s! So I want to share some ginger awesomeness with you, from the '90s!
Here I am with my ginger dog...
My ginger horses...
And of course, my ginger cow.
I also had a ginger mother, and a Reba collection (not pictured).
I love the website Kickstarter.com.It’s a website that helps people get funded
for starting businesses, artists, designers, and so much more.Each company or person who is trying to get a
“kick start” puts up a list of packages that you can buy.When you buy one of the packages, you become
a backer and get something really cool.It could be a tee shirt or a prototype at a crazy low price.
I thought I liked this website until I found this little
gem.Now I LOVE it.A man named Scott P. Harris from the UK
needed funding to make his documentary, Being Ginger.It’s about a red haired man in his quest to
find a woman who would love him, red hair and all.Unfortunately I found it after the funding
window was closed.Otherwise I would
have totally funded my fellow ging.Check out this deleted scene from the movie. (Note: Videos may not show up on mobile devices.)
I believe this woman single handedly started National Kick a
Ginger Day and gave birth to South Park’s Cartman all before her morning
coffee.
Check out Scott’s Facebook page and show him some love,
or you know help him find a woman.
Since I live
so far from my hometown, I keep in touch with what’s going on by being friends
on Facebook with my hometown news station.There was a story about a woman who was strangled and dumped in a lake.It is very sad, and my condolences are with
her friends and family for sure.
But the
thing that really got my attention was a post by a woman who had this to say, “Sooo sad
soo young....this world is getting scarier and bitter and people who aren't
scared of anything or anyone anymore... I have a 7 and 3 year old and it
petrifies me to wonder what this world wil be like at my age....i do know one
thing the lord needs to come back soon!!”
I have a couple thoughts on this.One, I saw your Facebook picture, and if
Jesus does come back soon, have him bring you a larger shirt because your girls
are trying to escape like a couple of seals in a minnow net.
And secondly, a drowning in a lake makes you scared for
the future of your children?Like I said
before, I do feel for her family and friends, but come on.Why do people read the news with such nostalgia?I think people remember their childhoods as a
simpler, more fun world in the same way we remember our childhood
bedrooms.Have you ever left your
childhood bedroom for a few years, then came back to see it.It’s magically smaller and less enchanted
than it used to be.Especially for those
people whose parents went on to be on the show Hoarding: Buried Alive.
A strangling and body dumping is something that should
never happen, but it’s not like it’s something new that you should worry about
the future of your children about.Chicago has had an organized crime ring since 1879, respectfully.The Black Dahlia killer, the KKK, the Unabomber,
and ‘80s parachute pants are all tragedies that we have overcome.
There will be more to come.Boston and 9/11 happened.A young woman was strangled and thrown in a
lake. It will keep happening. I think it’s foolish to hide from it and throw
your hands up in surrender.Teach your
children that bad things happen to good people, we just need to be the good
people who stand up for those who need help, and to trust our instincts.But
just start with a walk.Teach your children
and yourself about the beauty and kindness just outside your front door.
Let me recap.Bad things
have always happened, but it’s not always about you, so let it go.When the bad news starts to get to you, turn
it off and walk away.Then go pray that
Jesus brings you a bigger shirt!
Have some thoughts on this? Leave a message below!
My mom told me that it's rude to give people the bird, but she never said anything about writing it out in walnuts!
This may be old news, but it was new news to me, so
I thought maybe other people hadn’t heard about it either.
On February 22, 2010 the FDA wrote a letter to
Diamond Nuts telling them that they either needed to remove statements saying
that walnuts are beneficial to health, or they would have to apply to classify
their nuts as drugs.
They also had this to say, “Your walnut products are
also misbranded under section 403(r)(1)(B) of the Act [21 U.S.C. §
343(r)(1)(B)] because your firm's website also contains several additional
unauthorized health claims. The following are examples of the claims made on
your firm's website:
• "Studies have also shown that omega-3s may lower the risk of stroke
..."
• "[T]here's good evidence that omega-3s can increase HDL (good cholesterol),
further reducing the risk of stroke and heart disease."
They also said this, “Further, your "Diamond of California Shelled
Walnut" product is misbranded under section in that your product bears
health claims that are not authorized by the FDA. The front and back of your
product label bears the phrase "OMEGA 3 2.5 g per serving." Within
the context of this label, the heart symbols adjacent to information about the
amount of omega-3 in the product, constitute implied health claims about
consumption of omega-3 and a reduced risk of coronary heart disease.”
So there you have it, the dirty bastards at Diamond Nuts are trying to
poison our minds with hearts.
I found a study done in 2002 on the FDA’s website showing another walnut
run-in.The walnut growers wanted to
show that the Omega 3 found in walnuts was beneficial in reducing the risk of Coronary
Heart Disease.They worked with 16-49
people over 6 weeks, and found that all of them had lowered their LDL (bad cholesterol)
levels.
There were other studies done on walnuts as well that included Adventist
Health Study, the Nurses Health Study, the Iowa Women's Health Study, and the
Physicians Health Study that all found walnuts to be beneficial in heart
health.The FDA also hired three separate
scientists to conduct blind tests, which all found walnuts to be beneficial in
lowering LDL. Despite this evidence, the FDA determined walnuts to have no
signifigent evidence in being “heart healthy” because you would have to eat “a
significant” amount of walnuts to get the benefits.I wonder how many Lay’s potato chips it takes
to get heart health benefits, because they have been approved by the FDA to
label their foods heart healthy.
So then I went to Lay’s to get their point of view on heart health.They had this FDA approved message, “The good news about all our chips is that we make them with
“good fats”—polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats, which have heart health
benefits because they can actually lower bad cholesterol as part of a balanced
diet, so long as the total calories consumed do not increase.”
So in conclusion, according to the FDA walnuts are
not heart healthy, but fried potato chips are.
Despite the FDA refusing walnut growers to label
their product heart healthy, they put this video out for consumers.WARNING:This video contains walnuts!
If they keep this going, people are going to start
to think that the government is corrupt....
The letter from the FDA to Diamond Nuts can be
found here for you to read for yourself.
Shylee came home the other day with her very first yearbook! I was so excited that I flipped through the pages until I found her kindergarten class. Then I dragged my finger down the page to her name and looked at her photo.
This is my kid's name, but this is not her face.
And this is my kid's face, but not her name.
WTF? Her very first yearbook and the only photo of her in it, and it's all screwed up. I didn't want her to feel let down so I approached it gently.
Me - Shylee? Have you seen this page yet?
Shylee - Yeah! Isn't it great?! I love my yearbook.
Me - Did you see that your name is on a different little girl's picture?
Shylee - Yes! (grinning from ear to ear)
Me - I'm really sorry. I think it's too late to do anything about it.
Shylee - Are you kidding me? Isabella is the prettiest girl in school. Whenever people look at this, they're going to say 'Dang kid, you were gorgeous!'
Well that's one way to look at it I guess!
And in other news, my husband had a great time playing with his toys. I prefer he doesn't start his stories with, "So did I tell you where my wheel almost came off?"
Last night I was shanked in the shower. Sure, I did it to myself but it still feeds on my biggest fear...going to jail. Gingers barely make it off of the playground unscathed as kids, much less "the yard" as adults.
So I was in the shower shaving my arm pits when my razor broke. Like the whole head snapped off and all was left was a sharp point which I unintentionally used to stab myself with, in the armpit. Have you ever been shanked in the armpit? It sucks.
I got out of the shower and dried my feet off, which was pointless because the rest of me was still wet so I left a water trail to the medicine cabinet. I didn't have another razor in there so I walked over to the cupboard and looked in there. Nothing. Seriously, who shops for this house? They should be fired.
While I was standing there, recreating Lake Michigan at my feet, I decided to just borrow Brian's razor and jump back in the shower. After grabbing his razor, I promptly spun around towards the shower and slipped on the floor. It wasn't a full shit eating kind of fall but it left a mark and it was awkward.
That's when Brian walked in. I decided not to explain to him why I was naked, in a puddle of water on the bathroom floor holding his razor. He didn't ask either.
I got back in the shower to find that I was all out of shave cream.
