Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Abbott Sells Costello a Computer


People tell me all the time that I'm funny, and I just think; you should come to a family reunion. I by far am not the funniest person in my family...I'm just the one that knows how to use a computer...kidding! Except for my Uncle Roger. He only talked to me on the computer for a good two years through forwarding me funny (and completely inappropriate for work) emails. The kind that are really funny, but you really have no idea who actually wrote them because they have circled the globe 18 times, have saved the lives of two African children, 4 whales, and confused the people who shop at Wal-Mart. My cousin Ky, is also one of those really funny people. He wrote this Abbott and Costello skit and I loved it, so I just had to share! Enjoy and if you see this in a forward in the coming months, know that my cousin Ky wrote it and my Uncle Roger probably sent it to you.

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: Your computer?

 

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

 

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

 

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

 

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

 

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

 

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

 

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

 

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

 

ABBOTT: I just did.

 

COSTELLO: You just did what?

 

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

 

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: For my office?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

 

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

 

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

 

ABBOTT: Word.

 

COSTELLO: What word?

 

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

 

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

 

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

 

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

 

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'W' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can track my money with?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

 

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

 

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Yes. At no extra charge.

 

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

 

ABBOTT: One copy.

 

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

 

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

 

(A few days later)

 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on 'START'