Monday, December 24, 2012

Don't Punch Children in the Head

Today I bring you a public service announcement.  This PSA is here to remind people, Don’t Punch Children in the Head.  I was going to call it, Parents, Don’t Punch Your Children in the Head, but then I realized the damage is about the same, no matter the biological connection. 

Last night Kaydance got up three times in the night because she’s teething, and sharp little things ripping through her gums disrupts her sleep.  Perhaps Brian could have heard her over his own snoring, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.  On the third time that I got up I started this inner-monolog with myself that can only seem semi-rational in the middle of the night.  Like deciding to change your daughter’s name from Kaydance to Cane-dance, like Cane and Able kind of Cane-Dance.  It seemed logical a few hours ago.  Welcome to my brain, I hope you survive the trip.

Me:   OMG I want to punch her in the head.  Why does she keep waking me up?

Me:   Stop.  You wouldn’t really punch a baby in the head.  Would you?

Me:  I don’t know.  Not this kid, but I have met some children who I would like to punch in the head.

Me:  Would you do it if everyone was doing it?

Me:  I don’t think so.  I would like to say that I am above peer pressure, but getting drunk and can-can dancing at the Christmas party tells me differently. 

Me:  Would you do it if there was a gun to your head?

Me:  Can we still say it’s some other kid?  Then yeah, I think I would punch a kid in the head if there was a gun to my head.

Me:  Should I stop thinking about this?

Me:  Um yes, most definitely.

So, for the record I would only punch someone else’s kid in the head (which seemed better at the time) if there was a gun to my head.  And I know that there are some people out there who are reading this, thinking, OMG I could never punch a kid in the head.  I know way too many people, who I assume have been punched in the head as children, to believe that.  Only now, I better understand how that happened.  I have also met some really terrible children, but please remember Don’t Punch Children in the Head.