Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Don't Shank Princess

To be honest, I had more fun thinking of a name for this post than writing it itself.  It’s about inmates who have pet cats.  Do you know how many jokes about pussies in lock-up I came up with as titles?  Brian told me how unsuitable they all were, so “Don’t Shank Princess” it is!  State-ran prisons across the country have been taking rescued stray cats, and are giving them to inmates.  The goal is for them to rehabilitate each other.  The prisoners say they have to earn the cats trust before the cats will allow them to touch them.  Having pussies to chase after that they are allowed to touch; I imagine that is a change of pace in a men’s prison.  How did they get cats anyway?  “Sorry dude, you could have gotten a dog to train but we thought this was a better metaphor for your life.”

The inmates risk losing their kitties if they are caught doing something against prison rules.  No pussy if you’re bad?  That’s not a new concept.  What?  Can you imagine the conversations that must have come up in the yard?  “Dude I would totally shank you, have my way with you, and tattoo your mom’s face on my butt, but they would take away Snuggles.” 

In Washington state, inmate Joey named his cat Princess Natalie. Covered in scratches he said, "We don't know what she's in here for.  She won't tell us."  I believe he may be in for drug use. 

The Washington state program is called “Cuddly Catz”.  The cats are allowed to have daily walks on a leash.  Think about those guys acting like thugs later with pictures like these out in the world? 
Photo from Seattletimes.com
Don’t fuck with me bra, I know some hard ass mother fuckers still in the Cuddly Catz system!

Pussies in the pen?  I am a fan.  And their cats are cool too.  Please don’t shank me for writing this. 

 Image from backyardbandits.blogspot.com