Tonight Brian and I were in the kitchen together. We have agreed to never do that again.
I was at the counter cleaning up from dinner and he was standing at the fridge looking for...who knows what. I had some food I had to throw away and thought, man if Brian wasn't in the way I could just throw this in the trash can and not have to walk ALL the way over to the trash. Just as I thought that, Brian bent over to reach something so I took the opportunity and threw a handful of corn into the trash. To his fault, not my own of course, he stood up at just the right time and took a face-full of corn.
Brian - What the fuck was that for?
Me - What?
I thought, perhaps if I act like I didn't know what he was talking about, he would think he's the crazy one and just walk away confused. It works on Shylee all the time.
Brian - You just threw corn at my head!
Me - You look really nice today. Have I told you that? I'd say dapper.
Brian took a step towards me and I instinctively grabbed another handful of corn; for protection of course. Brian grabbed my hand and tried to shake the corn out. He got most of it, but I still had a few kernels so I jumped behind him and put them in the back of his boxers.
Brian - Really?! Why would you do that?
Me - I'm sorry! My instincts took over. I couldn't help it!
Brian started spinning in circles trying to see the corn.
Brian - Where is it?!
I have no idea why, but we're pretty much in a state of panic by this time, Brian still spinning.
Me - I don't know! I can't see it! Where did it go?
Brian - I think my butt ate it! Get it out!