Friday, January 4, 2013

Welcome to Motherhood, We Serve Drinks


Brian had to go back to work after the holidays before I did, cruelly leaving me alone with the children.  His first day back to work he locked the door behind himself as he left.  Most people would assume it was to keep his family safe while he was gone, but I know it was because he was making it more difficult for me to run away.

Yesterday I opened the pantry to start lunch for the girls, who turn into ankle biting zombies when they’re hungry.  But when I looked into the pantry all I saw was chaos. 
 Since I was playing stay-at-home-momma (read being kept captive like a prisoner in a Pygmy tribe) I decided I’d clean it up.  After the heathens ate their mac ‘n cheese we drove to get organizing baskets. 
10 baskets and two kids in a Mini Cooper

I was so proud of my organized pantry!  I even labeled the canned goods so I could see what was in the back.
Kaydance came in to investigate and immediately informed me I did a terrible fucking job.  She’s cute, but heartless.
So I did what any mother would do (I’m of course referencing mothers in Mad Men).  I poured myself a stiff drink.
I call it the Bingy Gingy!  It’s a mix of frozen raspberries, orange juice and a bottle of champagne. 
Then of course as soon as the Pygmy Zombies saw Momma’s drink, they had to have one too.  Looks like they’re going to bed early tonight.

Kidding.