Thursday, November 15, 2012

Cookie Monster Reads Craigslist

In the movie, The Five Year Engagement there is a scene where the two main character women talk like Elmo and Cookie Monster.

So of course it made me talk like Cookie Monster for the better part of the morning at work.  I also happened to be looking at Craigslist.  You'd be surprised the things you find on Craigslist!  So would Cookie Monster!

In this ad, someone is selling an overage they have of "medical marijuana" for a donation or trade for a tanning bed, tools, quad or vehicles.  I'm sure it's legit.  Cookie Monster no think so.

Cookie Monster Says...
C is for Craigslist. 
C is for Cannabis.
C is for Colorado.
C is for Canada.
C is for Cops too dumb ass.
In this ad, a guy is selling a haunted walking stick.  He claims it is possessed a vampiress spirit who turns lights on and off.  Cash only.

Cookie Monster says S is for Stick. S is for Stupid.
 In this ad, someone is selling a Hello Kitty tobacco pipe.  They say it's cute and in perfect condition.  I have never seen another Hello Kitty pipe, so I don't really have anything to compare it to.  They also say there's a choke hole on top of her head and you hit it from the foot. I don't know what that means, maybe Cookie Monster can clear this up.
K is for Kitty
K is for Kraaaaaaaaaaaaaack (and it is wack)
In this ad, someone was selling a "Fairie haunted spirit walking stick".  I assume a "fairie" is a magical mixture of fairy and pixie with a little bit of illiteracy thrown in for good measure.  They say this stick is haunted by a "fairie" spirit that feeds on sexual energy and makes a great companion for that special guy or gal who is a bit of a dominatrix.  "She can make you feel good" and "protect you from anyone you want her to".  Communicates through telepathy and crystals. 
What say you Cookie Monster?

Cookie Monster says W is for WTF!
In this ad, someone is selling a "potty chair".  It's extra special because of their ancestor who passed away on it! 
So we're back to the letter C where we started.  So Cookie Monster, what does the letter C for?

Cookie Monster says;
 C is for Chair.
C is for Crap.
C is for Creepy.
C is for Craigslist entertaining Chelsea!