Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Turtles for Porn

Warning: This post is slightly explicit and unsuitable for children, as I assume all posts named "Turtles for Porn" are.  If you are offended by porn or by turtles, check back in tomorrow.  

I'm not a personal fan of porn, but I don't really have anything against it. It's just not for me. For those who don't really get into it, I think there are two usual thoughts.  Either WTF, this is seriously going to give me nightmares, or buahahahaha.  I tend to be a mixture of both.  Brian was on FB the other day and mentioned how, "Fucking advertising is everywhere these days".  It got me thinking.  What if there were advertising everywhere, even in pornographic movies. How would they display an ad? Digitally? Pop-ups seem redundant...if you know what I mean...and I know you do.  I assume they would attach a sign to an animal's back and have the animal walk across the set in front of the camera.  Dogs and cats would probably get frightened and run across the set, not giving the ad companies enough air time. They'd have to use turtles I assume.  I believe this is the future of advertising in porns.

I think this is what they'd look like, and hell yeah, I did draw that turtle!
 

I looked up past and present ads to see what the turtle's sign would say. You'd think that I'm being a perv in this case, but after reading the ads, I'm not the one who's the perv. Or at least I'm on good company. There are tons more out there, but I picked these.  Next time you see advertising, think turtle.

Here are my favorites!






And here are a few more:

Two for me none for you- Twix

Think outside the bun.-Taco Bell

Your potential. Our passion -Microsoft

Melts in your mouth not in your hands - M&Ms

Virgin Atlantic, more experience than our name suggests- Virgin Atlantic

We’re gonna tempt your tummy, with the taste of nuts and honey, its a honey of an O
-Honey Nut Cheerios

Put a Tic Tac in your mouth and get a bang out of life.

Born to perform-Jaguar

Unleash the beast -Monster Energy

Does she … or doesn’t she-Clairol

Life is full of surprises - Life Cereal

Show’em you’re a tiger, Show’em what you can do, the taste of Tony’s Frosted Flakes, brings out the tiger in you, in you! - Frosted Flakes

Where’s the Beef -Wendy’s

Get the Sensation- York Peppermint Patty

We really move our tail for you- Continental Airlines

The art of performance-Jaguar

More fun than Rum-Malibu

Get the Feeling-Toyota

Two scoops of plump juicy raisins - Raisin Bran

Taste the explosion-Pop rocks

Every woman has two sides-Kat Von D Saint & Sinner

The Strength of Experience-GMC Truck

Bet you can’t eat three- Shredded Wheat Cereal

Oh what a feeling-Toyota

Save Your Money!-ING Direct

Crystal gets closer to the body than ever before-Swarovski Crystal Tattoos

It only tastes expensive-Masters Blend

Making people happy-Carl’s Jr.

Can’t Beat the Feeling-Coca Cola
We do it like you’d do it-Burger King
Ch-a-a-a-w-clit!” (Chocolate)- Nestles Butterfinger
One fiddler you won’t have to pay.-Sanka Coffee
Technology you can enjoy-Honda
Delta is ready when you are.- Delta Airlines
Have Fun Out There-Jeep
It’s Different in a Saturn

It makes you feel like the man you are.-Buick
Designed for Action-Pontiac
Now that’s imagination-Plymouth
We Make IT Happen-IBM
 
Honda. First man, then machine-Honda
Go Full Throttle or go home-Full Throttle

 
This post has no affiliation with the actual brands, but is for entertainment purposes only.